Tough times 2010

Time is tough.

Mother sick. Don't know what awaits in life. Mother is so precious. So many memories. The strength she has instilled in me. The woman she has made me into. All those moments of growing up. Never agreed with her on so many things. Moments of frustrations when I wanted her as a friend and not a mother. She never gave me her hand then. The fights I had with her. The arguments, the hostility,and the heartbreaks when I married against the wishes of my family.

What will happen now? She is not going to be there for long.

How fastidious she was as a mother! Everything had to be perfect for her family. Today nothing is perfect for her .The cancer is eating into her. Everyday something is missing. She is now just a child. No emotions run through me as I write. God has prepared me for the worst. I have to do my duties. I cannot let her down.

How will life be without Ma? I don't even want to think.

I have left everything to God . He will look after my family and me . He will make things right. He has never deserted me. My mother will always remain with me in what she has taught me. She has never taught me wrong. She taught me to believe in God. In time I became My own person I wanted her to learn a lot from me. I wanted her to share so many things with me. Iwanted her tto change a little bit so that she would be a little more free.

Even today lying in the hospital, her mind is embroiled in the tangle of her household and the running of it. She can do nothing and we are struggling to run her household in her line. She controlled everything. We don't know anything. The going is definitely tough.